Blog Posts

“Why Is Marriage So Hard?” How Couples Get Stuck in Patterns and Find Their Way Back to Each Other

You love each other, but why do the same arguments keep happening? Why can it feel so hard to communicate your needs, feel understood, or reconnect after a disagreement? Marriage brings together two people with different family histories, expectations, and ways of coping. Learn how understanding these patterns can help you move through conflict and feel more connected. If you and your spouse are ready to make a change, couples counseling in Illinois can help you build a healthier relationship together.

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Healing After Heartbreak, Grief, Healing Shirley Khong Healing After Heartbreak, Grief, Healing Shirley Khong

One of Those Days After a Breakup or Divorce? You’re Not Starting Over

Having one of those days after a breakup or divorce? You can miss your ex, question your decision, or feel like you’re not making progress without actually going backward. Healing isn’t always linear. Sometimes, it means learning to trust yourself again, listen to your body, and remember that you don’t have to carry the weight of the relationship alone.

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Healing After Heartbreak, Dating Shirley Khong Healing After Heartbreak, Dating Shirley Khong

Dating After a Long-Term Relationship: 2 Questions to Ask Yourself After a First Date

Dating after a long-term relationship can bring up more than excitement—it can bring self-doubt. After a first date, instead of focusing only on whether they liked you, consider two questions: Does this person feel like a teammate? And what version of myself comes out when I’m around them? These questions can help you reconnect with your needs, notice what your body is telling you, and begin trusting your judgment again.

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Healing After Heartbreak, Dating, Self-trust Shirley Khong Healing After Heartbreak, Dating, Self-trust Shirley Khong

Dating After a Breakup: Why No Algorithm Can Tell You Who to Love | Anxiety Therapist Chicago, IL 

Starting to date after a breakup often brings one question to the surface: Can I trust myself again? Inspired by Black Mirror's "Hang the DJ" and featuring insights from psychologist Dr. Dan LaLuna, this blog explores dating anxiety, relationship patterns, psychological diagnoses, and why no algorithm can tell you who to love.

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Healing After Heartbreak, Patterns, Awareness Shirley Khong Healing After Heartbreak, Patterns, Awareness Shirley Khong

How to Stop Repeating Relationship Patterns After a Breakup

After a breakup or divorce, it's easy to assume a new relationship will feel different. But if you're noticing the same fights, the same shutdown, the same wall of resentment building up, your past may be more present than you think. In this blog, an anxiety therapist in Chicago breaks down why we bring old patterns into new relationships, how to recognize your triggers in conflict, and what it actually takes to build something different this time.

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Dating Again This Spring? 4 Steps to Overcome Self-Sabotage Anxiety (Chicago, IL)

Dating again this spring? If you’re experiencing dating anxiety or self-sabotage anxiety, this blog walks you through 4 practical steps to help you navigate early dating experiences with more confidence, curiosity, and self-trust. Written by an anxiety therapist in Chicago, IL.

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Don’t Lose Yourself in Parenthood: An Anxiety Therapist in Chicago, IL on People Pleasing and Relationships

As an anxiety therapist in Chicago, IL who also works with couples, I was inspired to write this blog post after sitting with many first-time parents who came in wanting to improve their “communication skills.” Over the years, I’ve witnessed how the transition into parenthood doesn’t create new relationship problems — it magnifies the patterns that were already there.

If you’ve always been the responsible one, the peacekeeper, the one who keeps things running smoothly, becoming a parent can intensify that role. And somewhere between feedings, diaper changes, and managing schedules, you may start to feel like you’re disappearing.

If that sounds familiar, this blog is for you.

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“What If You Don’t Want the Life You’re Supposed to Want?” Guidance from an Anxiety Therapist in Chicago, IL

Have you ever wondered if the life you’re “supposed” to want really fits you? As an anxiety therapist in Chicago, IL, I often work with clients struggling with societal expectations, guilt, and the quiet fear of standing out. This blog explores how to honor your own values, question the conventional playbook, and create a life that truly feels meaningful.

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Reflections, Personal, Contemplative Shirley Khong Reflections, Personal, Contemplative Shirley Khong

Reflections from an Anxiety Therapist in Chicago, IL on Finding Calm in Restless Moments

As an anxiety therapist in Chicago, IL, I often help clients navigate moments of restlessness and overwhelm. In this post, I share reflections and practical strategies for finding calm amidst life’s chaos, offering insights to help you breathe, pause, and reset—even in the busiest of days.

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Understanding Yourself Shirley Khong Understanding Yourself Shirley Khong

Anxiety Therapist in Chicago, IL -When “Nice” Turns Toxic: People Pleasing, Anxiety, and Dating Again

Dating after heartbreak, rejection, or years of putting others first can feel overwhelming—especially if you’ve always been “the nice one.” As an anxiety therapist in Chicago, I often see how people-pleasing shows up in dating: saying yes when you mean no, hiding your true feelings to keep the peace, or losing yourself in the hope of being liked. Over time, this pattern creates anxiety, resentment, and confusion about what you really want. In this post, we’ll explore how people-pleasing turns toxic in dating, why it’s so hard to break free, and what steps you can take to start dating with confidence and authenticity again.

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Understanding Yourself Shirley Khong Understanding Yourself Shirley Khong

Anxiety Therapist in Chicago, IL – For People-Pleasers

Are you a people-pleaser struggling with anxiety, self-worth, and the pressure to be perfect? As an anxiety therapist in Chicago, IL, I understand how overwhelming it can feel to constantly put others first while neglecting your own needs. In this blog, I explore the emotional toll of people-pleasing behaviors, how they affect relationships and self-esteem, and how therapy can help you break free from these cycles. If you're ready to prioritize your mental health, learn to embrace your worth, and find the support you deserve, connect with a trusted Chicago anxiety therapist today.

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