Anxiety Therapy in Chicago for Adults Navigating Breakups and Relationship Patterns
I work with people post-breakup/divorce so they don’t do it again next time.
Support for Self-Sabotage, Boundaries, and Healing After Toxic Relationships
You learned early on how to take care of others.
You became the dependable one. The one who stayed quiet, kept the peace, and did what was expected. You learned how to read the room, anticipate needs, and avoid conflict, even when it meant ignoring your own.
Over time, this didn’t just become something you did. It became who you believed you had to be.
Now, you might find yourself in a new relationship that feels different. Safer. More respectful. More supportive.
And yet, something still feels off inside.
You second-guess yourself. You feel guilty for having needs. You feel anxious when there is even the smallest disagreement. You might notice yourself holding back, shutting down, or wondering if you are the problem.
This is often how self-sabotage anxiety shows up.
Not because you are broken. But because your nervous system learned that staying small, quiet, and accommodating was the safest way to be.
If you are looking for an anxiety therapist in Chicago, IL, you are in the right place.
Services I provide
Anxiety Therapy
Couples Counseling
Intergenerational Trauma Therapy
When Anxiety and Self-Sabotage Keep You Stuck
As an anxiety therapist in Chicago, I help people who spend so much of their lives taking care of others that they’ve forgotten how to care for themselves. You’re often the strong one, the one who sacrifices, the one who stays silent to keep the peace. But inside, you’re exhausted.
You may feel like you are finally in a healthier relationship, but your body has not caught up yet.
You might notice:
Feeling physically sick or emotionally overwhelmed during a conflict
Struggling to say what you actually think or feel
Questioning whether leaving your past relationship was the right decision
Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions
Ignoring your own needs or not knowing what they are
Pulling back or shutting down when things start to feel close or vulnerable
These patterns are not random.
They often learned from growing up in environments where your needs were not prioritized, where you had to adapt quickly, and where love felt unpredictable or conditional.
Your system learned how to survive.
Now, it just needs help learning something new.
Hi, I’m Shirley!
Hanging out with my dog-nephew!
A Space Where You Can Reconnect With Yourself
I see you, the anxious people-pleaser juggling too much, feeling drained and unseen. You’re the peacemaker and problem-solver, but your needs usually fall to the bottom of your to-do list. I am a leading voice in anxiety for people-pleasers, and I say that confidently.
Therapy with me isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping you slow down, reconnect with your strengths, and rebuild a more compassionate and grounded relationship with yourself.
I lovingly describe myself as an “emotional translator” for my clients. I’m someone who helps give you a voice to the feelings you’ve learned to silence, minimize, or judge as being “too much”, especially when life feels too busy or overwhelming to process.
My goal isn’t for you to stay in therapy forever, but to help you feel more grounded, gain clearer insights into your needs, and feel supported in building healthier relationships with yourself and others.
How I Help You Move Forward
I know it sounds cliché, but everyone is going to see progress differently. That being said, many of my clients have noticed these shifts during our time together:
Speaking up without guilt
Feeling grounded and calm, even when anxiety shows up
Understanding and honoring feelings, instead of fearing them
Setting boundaries without feeling selfish
Exploring goals, dreams, and relationships with courage
Humanizing and empathizing with others
Leaving toxic relationships or environments with clarity
Healing their relationship with intimacy, sexuality, grief, and their bodies
Parenting in a way that breaks destructive intergenerational cycles
Experiencing life with more peace, confidence, and connection
You do not have to stay in the role of the caretaker if it no longer fits who you are becoming.
Healing Self-Sabotage Anxiety
Learning to Trust Yourself Again
Self-sabotage is often misunderstood.
It is not about you getting in your own way on purpose.
It is a protective response. A part of you that is trying to keep you safe from rejection, conflict, or emotional pain.
In therapy, we do not try to get rid of that part of you.
We get curious about it. We honor it.
We understand what it is afraid of. We listen to what it needs. And we help it learn that you are no longer in the same environment you once were.
This is how real change happens.
Not through force, but through understanding.
You are allowed to want more
You are allowed to have needs.
You are allowed to take up space in your relationships.
You are allowed to feel your emotions without apologizing for them.
You are allowed to build a life that reflects who you are now, not just who you had to be to survive.
Therapy gives you the space to explore that, at your own pace.
Anxiety Therapy in Chicago, IL
Start With a Free 15-Minute Consultation
Taking the first step can feel intimidating, especially if you are used to putting yourself last.
You do not have to have everything figured out before reaching out.
If you are ready to start understanding yourself in a new way and begin healing from patterns of anxiety and self-sabotage, I invite you to connect.
Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if this feels like the right fit for you.
Frequently Asked Questions
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I work with individuals who experience anxiety, self-sabotage, difficulty with boundaries, and patterns rooted in past relationships or family dynamics. Many of my clients find themselves stuck in cycles of people-pleasing, overthinking, or feeling responsible for others while losing connection with themselves.
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Anxiety therapy with me focuses less on fixing your thoughts and more on helping you understand your internal experience. While approaches like CBT can be helpful for some people, our work together is centered on slowing down and getting curious about your emotions, patterns, and nervous system responses.
We start by meeting you exactly where you are each day. Instead of assigning structured homework, we focus on building awareness, self-trust, and emotional regulation in a way that feels supportive and sustainable.
When it is helpful, I will offer tools, reflections, or practices you can return to between sessions. There is no pressure to perform or “get it right,” only space to understand yourself more deeply and begin responding differently over time.
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Session fees and details about payment and insurance are outlined on the Fees page. You are welcome to review that information or reach out with any questions. We can also talk through what feels manageable during your free 15-minute consultation.
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Yes. I offer virtual therapy for clients located in Illinois, including Chicago and surrounding areas. This allows you to attend sessions from a space that feels comfortable and private.
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You can reach out through the contact page to schedule your free 15-minute consultation. This is a chance to ask questions, share what you are looking for, and see if this feels like the right fit.
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