Anxiety Therapist and Post-Breakup Therapy in Chicago, IL
YOU'RE TIRED. AND YOU KNOW IT.
You just had a sh!t day. And honestly, it's not just today. You are sick and tired of feeling this way, and you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Life after this breakup is not the way you want to live. Not like this.
Your ex wasn't the end-all, be-all. You know that somewhere inside. But knowing it and feeling it are two very different things, and right now the feeling is still heavy.
You are tired of being walked all over. By your ex. By family members. By co-workers. By some of the people you call friends. It keeps happening, in every direction, and you are done with it.
You hold back because you don't want to be a burden. You don't want to be that person, the one showing up with the same old story again and again. You are tired of retelling it. Tired of hearing yourself say the same things. And yet the story keeps sitting there, unfinished, waiting.
You want to do something about it. That wanting is real, even on the hardest days.
Maybe you'll try therapy. Everyone keeps saying to. And here you are, considering it. Because showing up for yourself, even just in a moment of exhaustion, is not nothing. It is the beginning of something.
You're exhausted. But you're not done.
Something inside you wants more than what you were given
You wouldn't be here if some part of you hadn't decided that this isn't it. That there is more. That the version of your life where you keep absorbing everyone else's weight, swallowing your own needs, and waking up feeling this way is not the version you are willing to settle for.
You are tired of the story. Which means you might be ready, even just a little, to write a different one.
Hi, I’m Shirley!
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Anxiety therapist and post breakup therapy in Chicago, IL
I work with anxious people who are afraid of being a burden, people who want to find the confidence to set boundaries, reconnect with their emotions, and create real change in their lives and relationships.
A significant part of my work is post-breakup therapy, helping people who are done living inside the old story find their footing and figure out who they are on the other side.
If you have spent years putting others first, as a high-achiever, a people-pleaser, or a caregiver who keeps showing up for everyone else while quietly running on empty, you are exactly who I work with. My clients often reach a point where they realize they simply cannot keep ignoring their own needs. That realization can feel like a breaking point. It can also be the beginning of something better.
The work we do together is not about forcing you into a shape that was never yours to begin with. We focus on the strengths you already carry, the ones that make you uniquely you, and build from there. You don't have to perform or present a polished version of yourself here. This is a space where you don't have to wear a mask.
How the work actually works
I draw on a relational approach that weaves together psychodynamic and psychoanalytic frameworks, Internal Family Systems, mindfulness, and strengths-based work. These are not techniques applied to you from the outside. They are ways of helping you understand yourself more fully, from the inside out.
Together we use self-reflection, mindfulness, and emotional processing to help you break out of old patterns in a way that feels manageable and affirming. Over time, my clients become more attuned to their emotions, noticing them as they surface in the body before they take over.
They learn to sit with grief, fear, anger, and resentment without being consumed by them.
Some of what becomes possible in this work:
Recognizing the patterns that have kept you stuck in relationships that drain you
Building the language and confidence to communicate your needs without guilt or fear
Developing a relationship with your own emotions so they inform you rather than overwhelm you
Releasing the belief that needing support makes you a burden
Finding your way back to yourself after a relationship that left you feeling lost
With each step, my clients feel more confident, more grounded, and more at home within themselves. The work is not always easy, but it is yours. And it moves at a pace that respects exactly where you are.
You don't have to have it all figured out to reach out. You just have to be a little bit ready. And it sounds like you already are.
You don’t have to keep carrying this alone.
Post-breakup therapy is not about getting over someone as fast as possible. It’s about understanding what happened, what patterns played a role, and what you actually want your life and relationships to look like going forward.
You don't have to keep retelling the same story to yourself in the dark. You can start telling a new one, with support, at your pace, in a space where you are genuinely welcome.
Book a free consultation at www.selfcompassioncounseling.com/contact or call 773-828-1422.
You don't have to keep telling the same story.
You can write a new one.
FAQs
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Yes. This is one of the most common reasons people reach out. A breakup, especially one that follows a long relationship or a painful pattern, can leave you questioning yourself, your choices, and what comes next.
Post-breakup therapy is a space to process what happened without judgment, understand the dynamics that played a role, and start building toward the life and relationships you actually want.
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If you are exhausted, stuck in the same patterns, and something in you is looking for a way through, that is enough of a reason to try. You don't have to be in crisis to benefit from therapy.
Many people who seek post-breakup therapy or anxiety counseling in Chicago come in feeling exactly the way you might feel right now: worn out, uncertain, and quietly hoping something could be different. That is a completely valid place to start.
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The first session is a conversation. There is no pressure to share everything at once. We spend time getting to know each other, exploring what brought you in, and beginning to get a sense of what you're carrying.
Many clients say they feel genuinely heard and relieved after that first meeting, sometimes for the first time in a long time. You set the pace from day one.
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That experience is more common than you might think, and it matters. Not every therapist is the right fit, and not every approach works for every person. My work is relational, meaning we move at your pace and build trust over time.
You won't be pushed into anything before you're ready. If you've had a frustrating experience with therapy before, I encourage you to bring that into the room. It's useful information, and it's welcome here.
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There is no single answer to this because therapy is not one-size-fits-all. Some people find meaningful relief in a few months. Others find that longer-term work allows them to go deeper and create lasting change. We will move at a pace that makes sense for you, and we will check in along the way to make sure the work continues to feel relevant and useful.