Couples Counseling in Chicago, IL

Why can’t we get along like we used to?!

 
couples counseling

You and your partner have been struggling for a while now. The arguments go nowhere. The silence afterwards feels so challenging. You’re both exhausted (emotionally and physically), and the grief and loss you've been carrying together have only widened the distance between you.

You want your relationship back. But it feels hopeless. Everything you say seems to land wrong, and you're running out of ideas on how to reach each other.

Misaligned schedules, life's pressures (childcare or caring for elderly family members), lonely nights after arguments, add more pressure to both of you. When one of you wants to talk it through, the other shuts down. Deep down, you both know this isn't a toxic relationship. You’re both grieving the relationship that you had, and it’s making the two of you feel completely alone.

You might have thought about couples counseling but felt unsure if it would really help. It’s scary and vulnerable to “air your dirty laundry” to a stranger, especially when you see familiar patterns from your own families emerging.

That's exactly the kind of work I do. As an anxiety therapist in Chicago, I help couples understand where those patterns came from, how past wounds are affecting the relationship you have now, and how to find your way back to each other in a way that feels real, not just functional.

 
anxiety therapist chicago il

Hi, I’m Shirley!

Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Illinois

 
Let's rebuild together!

Building in time to reconnect with your partner

I work with couples who are exhausted by constant arguments and are ready to rebuild the emotional safety in their relationship. Together, we’ll develop the skills needed to navigate difficult yet essential conversations. With practice, those conversations will start to feel more natural, extending well beyond our sessions.

In the middle of everything life demands from you, dedicating one hour a week to your relationship can change everything.

In the beginning, couples counseling may feel awkward or even heated. That’s expected. We slow down and get curious about the patterns in your relationship: the phrases that keep coming up (“You always…”, “You never…”, “Yes, but…”), the body language that signals that you’re both shutting down, and the cycles that lead to disconnection in conflict.

Over time, something shifts in your relationship. You’ll feel more comfortable facing challenges together. Being emotionally vulnerable again helps to deepen your bond. Change happens gradually as we focus on how you engage in conflict, not just on what is said.

Some weeks will feel harder than others. That’s not a sign that something is wrong, it means that the real work is beginning. Rebuilding a relationship system takes time, courage, and self-compassion. I encourage all my couples to practice the exercises we discussed in our session during the week and reflect on their experiences.

The couples who make the most progress are the ones where both people are genuinely committed to showing up differently, not perfectly, just honestly.

“When you pick a partner, you pick a story. So what kind of story are you going to write?"

— Esther Perel

couples counseling

For couples who have read everything and need a final, gentle push

Every relationship goes through seasons that feel impossible to navigate alone. What matters isn't that you got here, it's that you both still want to show up.

Couples counseling works best when two people are committed to trying something different, not perfectly, just honestly. If that's where you both are, I'd love to support you.

Fill out the contact form below to share what's been going on and schedule your free 15-minute Zoom consultation. No pressure, no commitment, just a conversation to see if working together feels like the right fit.

Contact me today

Frequently Asked Questions for Couples Counseling Chicago

  • The success of couples counseling in Chicago depends largely on the commitment and effort both partners bring to the process. While it's difficult to pinpoint a specific success rate, many clients report feeling more connected and understanding toward their partners after counseling. The key is showing up consistently for yourself and your relationship.

  • In many cases, the timeline will differ from case to case. Most of the time, couples who reach out for counseling have a few concerns that they want to tackle in the first session, but don’t have time to actually sit down to discuss important conversations about their relationship. My focus is on creating a dedicated time and space to refocus on what’s important in your relationship and reduce feelings of resentment.

  • There is no right or wrong type of therapy that is good for couples. Couples counseling is a dedicated space to refocus on your relationship and understand how to bridge conflicts towards deeper connection.

    My approach focuses on fostering emotional safety, building trust, and encouraging honest communication, so you can strengthen your connection and navigate challenges together.

  • If couples counseling doesn't work, it can be due to various reasons, such as lack of commitment, unresolved individual issues, or incompatibility. In such cases, it may be helpful to:

    Reevaluate Goals: We would reassessing and clarifying the goals of counseling together.

    Try Different Approaches: We may need to consider trying different therapeutic techniques or a receive a referral to a different counselor.

    Individual Counseling: Each partner may benefit from individual counseling to address personal issues.

    Consider Other Options: Explore alternative solutions, such as mediation or legal advice, if the relationship cannot be reconciled.

    Open Communication: Maintain open communication with your partner about your feelings and concerns regarding the process.