Reflections from an Anxiety Therapist in Chicago, IL on Finding Calm in Restless Moments
When your mind won’t stop racing, small moments of awareness and movement can help you slow down and reconnect with yourself.
All images were photographed by me — small moments that remind me to slow down and take care, too. This one was taken in Millennium Park around Christmas time 2023
A Chicago Anxiety Therapist’s Perspective on Restlessness, Busyness, and Finding Stillness
You know, I often tell my clients at the end of our sessions to “take good care of yourself”, and usually sign my email signature with the same phrase. But tonight, I realized that as an anxiety therapist, I don’t usually take my own advice to “take good care”. More often than not, I choose to do the opposite. I’ll admit, it’s not always intentional. Most of the time, it’s an autopilot reaction when stress has gotten out of control and I need a break, but I never actually make time to rest or reset.
Being on autopilot can look like endlessly scrolling on our phones, feeling restless or “antsy,” craving distraction, or numbing ourselves because we’re overwhelmed. Because what would happen if we slowed down?
We might not get back up after spending days “bed rotting” and sinking deeper into depression.
We could disappoint or fail the people we care about.
It might feel selfish to take breaks when others before us had to keep going without rest.
We tell ourselves that we have too much to lose, and we don’t want to fall behind.
And underneath all of that? There’s often a quiet fear that if we stop moving, we’ll have to face the parts of ourselves we’ve been avoiding: the grief, the guilt, the exhaustion. Sometimes it feels easier to stay busy than to feel those uncomfortable feelings.
So you keep going…and going…and going. Everything feels urgent. We rush around, take care of others, and forget about ourselves. We’re the responsible ones who always make sure everyone is comfortable and happy. But when we say “yes” too quickly, or people-please out of habit, it takes time away from us when we need to reset. That’s when resentment and anger start to build, ultimately creating tension in our relationships.
Because we’re so overwhelmed and restless, decisions feel impossible, from big ones (i.e., “Who do I want to be in the next year?”) or small ones (i.e., “What should I have for dinner?”). If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. As an anxiety therapist in Chicago, IL, many of my clients share that same mix of restlessness, guilt, and fear of letting others down. We convince ourselves that pushing through is our strength (and it is when breaks are added in!), but more often than not, it’s our nervous system telling us, “If you don’t stop now, I can’t go on.”
So how do we actually take care of ourselves when we’re always so busy, let alone as the year winds down? I’m here to tell you (as a fellow anxiety therapist!) that you don’t have to go through this type of overwhelm alone. My hope for this blog is that it becomes a gentle reminder for both my readers (and myself!) to come back to when we are feeling stretched too thin and want to pivot from our usual unhealthy habits.
If you’re looking for support in slowing down, setting boundaries, or untangling people-pleasing patterns, I’d be honored to help. You can learn more about working with me as an anxiety therapist in Chicago, IL, here, or schedule a consultation using the link below to see if therapy feels like the right next step for you.
You don’t have to push through exhaustion to prove your worth because sometimes, rest is the bravest thing you can do
This was one of the cute bunny photos taken during a lunchtime walk, since it’s hard to see them at night
Today was stressful. I was very aware of a frenetic, restless energy buzzing in my body, and my thoughts were racing. Usually, if I’m not aware of this feeling, I end up doomscrolling or pacing around without realizing it. But tonight, I decided to make a small pivot to take a walk around the neighborhood and see what happens. Unsurprisingly, the nighttime walk was really helpful. It gave my brain a chance to reset by keeping me physically and mentally present (like spotting and counting how many bunnies were hiding in the grass!) while moving my body to release the energy that’s been trapped within me.
After my walk, while doing a vitamin C face mask, I realized that I’ve confused my restlessness with the need to stay busy or distracted. Over the years of being a therapist and a client, I’ve become more open to allowing my thoughts and feelings to take up space, and eventually be seen as a friend rather than an annoyance to get rid of. I say this not to be on my high horse (trust me, I’m no better than you, regardless of my degree or license) but to show the vulnerabilities of being a person living in 2025.
Being in awe of a sunset from the top of a mountain
Lately, it’s felt more like we’ve all been on a non-stop amusement park ride without an ending in sight. The adrenaline rush and constant worries continue even when I’m lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Maybe you’ve experienced something similar. What I found helpful was incorporating a few minutes of yoga stretches and giving myself permission to let go of the day’s expectations before bed with mindful breathing.
I imagine you reading this with an eye roll. So again, I’ll admit that there are times when it’s really hard to find the motivation to even do the things we know are good for us. Taking care of yourself will look different, and that’s okay. There’s no “right” way. What matters is remembering what you need to slow down and create a little bit more space for mental clarity.
My suggestion:
Experiment with small pivots to your habits when you feel overwhelmed. Pause to look and see what’s around you. You might be surprised by what you’ll find.
You deserve rest, not just survival. Learn to treat your energy like something worth protecting
If you’re looking for ideas or guidance on how to take time off, check out one of my previous blogs here. Our attention is valuable, and so is our overall health. It’s not sustainable to be running on fumes, caffeine, and the hope that we’ll finally rest “later”.
Taking care of ourselves can look like:
Advocating for ourselves and realizing that we don’t need to convince anyone to like us
Learn to negotiate and know when to walk away
Untangling ourselves from toxic people or activities
Preparing a delicious meal
Stepping away from our phones for a while
Being bored and in silence
My hope to anyone reading this, whether you’re a POC or not, is that if you grew up in a family where survival was the main focus, you give yourself permission to slow down so you don’t burn yourself out. I know I’ve said it repeatedly in this blog, but I believe it’s important: There’s no right or wrong way.
For me, a quiet weekend moment with coffee in a cute hedgehog mug with homemade banana bread - one of the small rituals that help me slow down :)
I hope you can use this blog as a gentle reminder on those days when you’re feeling burnt out, irritable, or even restless. An analogy I often tell my clients is: cut a slice of cake that you were looking forward to eating first, before everyone else rushes in to take a piece. Your time and energy are valuable. Let’s start treating it that way and see how our lives can change for the better.
Question to consider:
What would it look like for you to take good care of yourself this week, even for five minutes?
